My Last Goodbye
by FreyaCat
Summary: Death had come for Bulma, but she still had something to say.


**Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of the characters therein.**

**Warning! This is a tear jerker, folks! Normally, I don't like this sort of thing, but I think I'll try my hand at it this once. **

_**My Last Goodbye**_

It was a cloudless afternoon the day they buried Bulma. The remaining fighters of the Z-group stood huddled together, shivering around the freshly overturned earth that was now going to house her body. Though they were all shaking, it had nothing to do with the temperature outside, but with the soul-deep sorrow that blanketed each and every person. Random sniffles could be heard from each of her friends as the preacher man finished his sermon. Bra walked forward to place a single red rose on her mother's casket. Red had been Bulma's favorite color. It was vibrant and beautiful, just as she had been.

With that last thought, memories her mother's ruby red lips smiling floated through her memory. The stoic facade that she had kept for her father's sake cracked, and she dropped her face in her hands. Her brother walked forward and caught her by the shoulders, gently steering her toward the shelter of the trees lining the property. There, he held her so she could cry to her heart's content.

It had all been so sudden! One minute, her mother had been fine; talking about what Bra and Goten should name her newest child, still unborn. Then, not three days later, Trunks had called her with the news that Bulma was hospitalized after a massive heart attack. She'd had Goten fly her to West City General as fast as he could.

Vegeta had been like a zombie, sitting a silent bedside vigil as the machines connected to her worked to keep her alive. For six agonizing days, both the Brief and Son families had camped out at the hospital, waiting for any change. Then...the doctors came.

They'd told her father that Bulma was brain dead, and that she would never wake up. The family had a decision to make. They could either keep her body alive and cling to the desperate hope that she would miraculously come to, or they could pull the plug and let her go home. It took Vegeta another three days to decide.

In the end, he was holding her hand when her heart gave its final beat.

.

.

.

Capsule Corporation was somehow colder when Vegeta walked through the door. The cheery bright yellow walls seemed to mock him, bringing back every memory he had of his wife...his mate.

Each beat of his heart felt like a chore to his body, the all-consuming emptiness threatening to unravel him. There was a wall of tears behind his eyes, but he knew that if he allowed himself to cry for her, he'd never be able to stop. So, he dug deep and rationalized that it really didn't do for a warrior to bawl like a baby anyway.

She was really gone this time. Not even the Dragon Balls could bring her back.

He padded up to their bedroom, the eerie silence of the house unnerving him even further. He stepped through the door and was immediately assaulted with her scent. It was everywhere in that God forsaken place! But he just couldn't stop his nose from tipping up and drawing it in, imagining that she was there, if only for a little while. He opened his eyes, still horribly alone, and he'd never felt the crushing weight of it as he did at that moment.

He looked at their bed, still unmade on her side. The covers were strewn about haphazardly, telling of the care-free woman that had once graced them. A memory of the first time they'd made love flashed through his mind. He couldn't stop himself from sliding in where she would have laid, and burying his face in her pillow. It still smelled of that blasted blueberry pie shampoo she favoured. He sat up, berating himself for acting like an old widow and cursing the haze of tears beginning to blur his vision when a knock sounded at the door.

He rose on heavy legs and opened it, fully expecting to find one of his children standing there, but was vaguely surprised to see Goku instead. He slapped an indifferent mask on his face, blinking back the moisture that had gathered at the corners of his eyes.

"What do you want, Kakarot? Go and bother the other guests downstairs. I'd like to be left alone."

Goku shifted uncomfortably for a few seconds before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin white disk, clearly marked with a red "V". He handed it to Vegeta, who was looking to him for an explanation.

"Uh, sorry to bug you right now, Vegeta, but I sorta promised Bulma I would give this to you."

The prince's face said "talk or die", and Goku didn't have the heart to turn him down.

"Ya see, she gave this disk to me a really long time ago, like right after Bra was born and made me swear to give it to you once she...well, once she passed. I've never watched it though, I promise!" Goku turned to walk away. "So, I'll just...leave you to it then." He had never felt more awkward in his life, and was more than a little shocked at the hand that settled on his shoulder.

"Kakarot, it is traditional in Saiyan custom that the male mate not cry for the one who has departed on the day of the funeral rights, but rather that he has another female shed his tears for him. It is a show of strength and pride for the mate lost. I can't ask Bra to do it. She's under enough stress as it is with the new brat, and Trunks is no doubt blubbering himself to sleep already. I'm not asking you to be weak and mushy on me, but...would you...stay?"

Goku's eyes widened, and he blinked at the look of uncertainty on Vegeta's face.

"Uh...sure, Vegeta, I'll stay." He turned on his heel and followed his friend back into the room. A wave of profound sadness washed over him as he smelled her perfume in the air, and saw her pictures jammed on every inch of their dresser surface. He couldn't even imagine what Vegeta was feeling.

He watched his diminutive prince walk to a console connected to a giant screened computer on the far wall. A tiny smile tugged at his lips. Man, that Bulma sure loved to work! He wouldn't be surprised if she kept a computer in the bathroom!

He caught himself still thinking like she as alive, and the weight of her death crashed down on him once again. He blinked back the tears stinging his eyes and looked around the room she'd shared with her husband. He couldn't help feeling like he was someplace horribly sacred and private.

He wondered why Vegeta asked him to stay…

A lump formed in Goku's throat as he caught sight of a picture of the two of them when they were young. They were grinning at the camera, most likely being handled by Krillin, covered in machine grease and dirt. In his hand, he held her tiny hand…holding a Dragon Ball. Those days seemed so long ago. A click and whir of machinery brought him back to Vegeta, who was staring up at the screen waiting for something to happen.

They were both surprised when Bulma's smiling face filled the screen. She looked as she did just after she'd given birth to Bra, fresh faced and glowing with happiness.

"Hey there, Vegeta!" She giggled and gave a little wave to the camera. "If you're watching this, then that means that Goku kept his promise. Incidentally, that also means I'm dead. Man, that's weird to say aloud." She pulled a face. "Anyway, with all the craziness that seems to follow us around, I figured I might as well go ahead and make sure I have this little speech prepared for you. Ya know, just in case. Anyway, here goes nothin'!" Her face smoothed out and she stared intently into the lens.

"Vegeta, my royal pain-in-the-ass, I just wanted to say that I love you. Yea, yea, I know you hate this mushy stuff, and you don't think that the whole "love" thing really exists, but I just wanted to tell you. You've been my everything. These last thirteen years with you have been the most beautiful experience of my life. Not even summoning the Dragon gives me such a rush as just to see you smile. Rare as it is," she snorted. Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"Don't you dare roll your eyes, either, you know it's true!" He blinked in surprise. Had she really known him _that_ well?

"Anywho, where was I? Oh yea! Thank you, Vegeta. You've given me a reason to wake up in the morning and a reason to want to work hard. You've given me two gorgeous children." Her eyes softened. "Listen, honey, I know that the concept of loving anyone is foreign and foolish to you, but let me just say you're wrong. You're vital to me. The day I lost you…ya know, when you blew yourself up to save the world," She cocked her eyebrow up, "I felt my heart stop beating for a second too. I didn't think I could go on living if you weren't there." She gave him a sheepish little smile.

"Look, I know that Frieza bastard messed you up a little, and you shut everyone out…but… You allowed me to be closer to you than anyone else. You let me in, and I'm excited to know that. I'm excited to know _you.__" _Her eyes twinkled, the blue taking on a distinct jewel tone as it did when she was happy. He missed her eyes.

"You woke me up. I was living a half-life before you stomped into it. And what's more, you keep me on my toes! Man, have you ever got a temper! Did you know you're cute when you're mad?" She giggled again.

"Okay, so I know this isn't filled with rosy poems and declarations to be with you forever, but I _can_ tell you that I will be. Every time you look at our children and grandchildren, I'll be there. When you curl up at night, my scent will still be there. I'll be in your memories, and on your mind. And when you finally allow yourself to cry for me, I'll be watching over you, my love." She sniffled and he felt his throat tighten. "Ah, sorry! I'm getting a little teary eyed myself over here!" She smiled and wiped her eyes. Then she cleared her throat.

"So to finish, I would like to tell you that even though you never have said you love me, I know you do. It's okay, sweetie, I won't make you spew such "weak words". I just hope you realize one day what true love really means. I found it when you came to stay with me." She lowered her eye lids and gave him a dreamy smile, tainted by a hint of sadness.

"This is my last goodbye, Vegeta. My love. My mate. My completion. Someday we'll be together again. I'll be waitin' on ya! Believe that, my sweet prince. Ciao!" She winked and the screen went black.

He was shaking from head to toe with the effort to contain his sobs. Behind him, he could hear Goku sniffling, and even smell the other man's tears. Well, it looked like the ritual would go forward as planned…

He went rigid when Goku stepped up behind him and placed a soft hand on his shoulder. He thought to jerk away, but found he didn't have the strength to move.

"Vegeta, I'm sorry." Goku's voice was thick with tears, his hand trembling against Vegeta's skin. The prince's shakes became more violent, and Goku squeezed him.

"W-why does she insist on spouting that love garbage? I'm a Saiyan Prince! Love is a meaningless word to me! I don't need it! She knew that! I don't...I don't need..." He hiccupped as the first of his shameful tears escaped. He kept his back turned to Goku, but allowed him to continue resting his hand where it was.

"Vegeta, it's okay. Grieving doesn't make you weak. Let go." Goku peered down at the prince through a heavy haze of his own tears, his quiet sobs threatening to choke him. He wasn't surprised when Vegeta spun on him, furious.

"What the hell would you know about it? I'm not weak like you! I don't cry! I'm Saiyan royalty, endowed with the strength to stand up and do what needs to be done, even when everyone else shys away from the challenge! Do you know it was me who made the decision to end her life? I'll bet you, with your pathetic notions of love and friendship, would never be able to do that! I told them to pull the plug! It was me! I killed...I killed...I killed her!"

Vegeta shuddered as the force of his grief began to overtake him, an ugly black monster draining the life from his very soul. Goku took both of his shoulders in hand and shook him.

"No, you didn't! You set her free. If someone told me that Chi-Chi was dying and I had to make that choice, I don't know that I could do it! You had the strength to let her go home. You let her go, Vegeta, even though you knew it would destroy you. _That's_ what real love is about. Sacrifice. You don't have to say it with pretty words!...You love her, Vegeta. You've always loved her. She obviously knew it all along. The only one too stubborn to admit it is you." Both men studied each other, their panting to only sound in the room. They were both crying like little boys now, and neither one of them cared. Goku leaned down, their foreheads nearly brushing, and addressed him one Saiyan to another. One friend to another.

"You love her, and that's okay. Now forget that dusty old custom and your pride and _grieve_ for your _wife_."

It was like a dam burst inside Vegeta and all the fight went out of him. He sank to his knees, and Goku followed him. Goku dropped his face in his free hand, and continued to silently squeeze Vegeta's shoulder.

The prince squeezed his eyes shut, a golden aura snapping up around him as a keening wail tore itself from his throat, from the very core of his being, and shook the walls around them.

He loved her, and now she was gone. He cursed himself for never saying it to her, for never giving her the words she deserved to hear. Instead, he'd treated her to snide remarks and arguments. He wished he could go back in time and shut himself up. To go back and replace every scathing word with a kiss.

He collapsed against Goku's chest, feeling for all the world like a scared little boy, clinging to the one person who could soothe him now.

Goku locked his arms uncertainly around Vegeta's shoulders, and said nothing. He understood the level of trust Vegeta was giving him now, and he remembered all the times he'd held Bulma like that over the course of her life. He dropped his head onto Vegeta's, golden hair meeting black, and wept for his friend.

Vegeta was in such agony that he barely noticed Goku holding him like a lost whelp.

Dear God, he loved her! And now she'd gone and broken his heart for a change.

Together, the two Saiyan men cried for the woman who'd found them both, given them a family, and had taken a central part of it away with her last goodbye.

**So sad! Not my usual thing, but well, the grim reaper is coming for us all someday, right? Love y'all...**

**Freya**


End file.
